give and take.

8 08 2010

Being a (young) sibling to a child with special needs can be rough. Don’t get me wrong, Greta adores her little brother and doesn’t have a clue that there is anything “different” about him. But, lately, I’ve been feeling like things are a little lopsided for our girl.  Miles gets all sorts of special attention. He has 2 physical therapists, a speech therapist and an occupational therapist.  To Greta’s 4 year-old eyes, Miles gets to go do all of these interesting things with his wonderful teachers. She doesn’t. Greta almost always has to tag along and I often find myself telling her to “give Miles and the therapist space” or “sorry, Greta, you can’ t play with that toy, they are using it”.   I’ve found that parenting a child with special needs can create a whole new set of special needs for your “typical” child.

So, I have decided that every weekend, Greta and Mommy (or Daddy) will do some sort of special one on one activity that Miles does not get to do. Last week, we went on a girls night out to see the movie Ramona and Beezus. We got cotton candy and pop and she sat on my lap almost the entire movie. It was heavenly 🙂

This weekend, we tie dyed t-shirts after we put Miles to bed. We had so much fun making a mess with our rubber gloves on and Greta was SO proud to wear a t-shirt that she dyed to church this morning!

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2 responses

9 08 2010
Kristen

Being with the other families at the Niagara Falls started me thinking about what it must be like for the siblings to the special needs child. Now that I am expecting it’s got me observing and absorbing all sorts of parents’ wisdoms that I have never had to think about before. Thanks for posting this. I’ll be tucking it away in my ‘mommy-files’ to be brought back out when it’s time. 🙂

9 08 2010
nicole

Sherri it’s an absolute balance…and it’s hard at times. I feel bad for Joe sometimes because Ben get’s so much attention and that’s all he’s really ever known being 14 months older…and for the longest time Joe would act out and get upset that he couldn’t play with the blocks like Ben did with his therapists. So I try to do something special with Joe a few times a week, whether it’s staying up later, or extra one on one with him. I use Ben’s therapy time for “Joe” time. It’s so hard though. But I’ve been doing it this past year, and it’s helped. They are very close, they adore each other as you’re two do. I do think it’s harder on the other child & I struggle for the balance daily. I think I’ve done A’ok (I hope so) 😉 Being a mom is a wild ride…but an amazing one at the same time.
~nicole

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